Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

World's Earliest Social Networking Site Found

"Anybody seen my iPhone?"

Technoarchaelogists at St Nerd's College, Oxford, claim to have discovered the earliest social networking system, dating back to the birth of Christianity.

Discovered in a crypt near the Sea of Galilee, the researchers found a number of small bricks, known as Twyys, each inscribed with short messages in Aramaic, each smaller than 140 characters.

Chief Researcher Professor B Stone said, "this is a tremendous discovery. The evidence indicates that these bricks were individually carved by the people, then hand-stacked into something called a Twyy Tower. Other scribes would then choose whose Twyy's they wished to read, inscribe their own and add them. In this way, vast conversations between multiple people were recorded in the Twyy Tower."

Professor Stone added that the Twyy's so far translated had validated large sections of the Bible, proving the existence of many key characters in Galilee and the Holy Land during the period.

The Diary of a Geek was granted exclusive access to several of these priceless and historic Twyys:

Twyys scribed by Jesus of Nazareth:

realsonofGod: We OK for dinner tonight? Table for 13 at Luigi's, bring your own bloody wine this time, OK?

realsonofGod: Hey all, am liveblogging this meeting with Pilate, tweet if you've any questions! hashtag's #mycrucifixion

realsonofGod: #mycrucifixion Anyhoo, I'll be hanging around here for a while, then should be back in a few days, k?

Other Key Twyy Towers:

johnthebaptist: Met this hot chick Salome on JudeaDate. Meeting up tomorrow night. She seems lovely - says she likes head too.

Jud4sIsc4r10t: Look, I know i kissed him. It was only for a bet, 30 pieces of silver and I was pissed, OK?

Simon_Peter: Look, seriously, stop @'ing me. I don't know the guy, ok? I've told you 3 times now, He's not in my Followers list.

ProphetMo: #newreligion Looking to add followers, @me for details!

ProphetMo: #newreligion Get 72 virgins in 7 days guaranteed! Ask me how!!

PontiusP: Anybody seen the handsoap?

TheLazarus2.0: I'm back, anyone around?

A full exhibition of the individual bricks, consolidated and placed into historically accurate Twyy Towers, is planned to be held at the British Museum once translation works are complete.

1 comment:

Pam Nash said...

Absolutely brilliant! Started reading it as a serious piece, then got to St Nerd's..........

Particularly liked:

realsonofGod: We OK for dinner tonight? Table for 13 at Luigi's, bring your own bloody wine this time, OK?