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Friday, November 13, 2009

Darling Calls For Further Bonus Reform

Darling & Brown: "so we give 'em fewer bullets, and the savings go into the MP's expense pot!"

Alistair Darling, Chancellor of the Exchequer and Glove-Puppet In Chief to the Prime Minister, has said that the banking sector still needs to further reform its bonus culture, according to an interview in a newspaper today.

Speaking to the Wall Street Journal, Mr Darling said, "the fact is that the majority of UK banks are either nationalised or in receipt of vast sums of taxpayers money. It is not right that this money is used to pay 'fat-cat' bonuses to bankers".

Mr Darling said that the money going to the banks and subsequently being paid out in bonuses was better served in other areas of Government expenditure, especially the Ministry of Defence. He added, "bonuses should be paid not for profit, but for efficiency savings, which is why this money would be better paid to MoD employees. For example, one member of the Procurement department made a saving of several hundred thousand pounds this quarter by replacing the kevlar used in body armour with polystyrene - it is right that efficiencies of this nature be rewarded".

The article cites several other instances of efficiency savings made by the MoD in the last twelve months, including the 'one between 12' rule on night-vision goggles that has been estimated to have saved the MoD budget some £5000 for the cost of only 23 lives.

A spokesman for the British Army in Camp Bastian was unavailable for comment, as he was too busy trying to stay alive.

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