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Friday, November 20, 2009

Mandelson Album Rocks to Top of Chart

Lord Mandelson channels Midge Ure circa 1981

Business Secretary Lord Mandelson's debut album has reached No. 1 in the UK charts today - despite its not being released yet.

The album, 'Foy Boy', is due for release in early December, however record bosses agreed to the unprecedented move of making the album No. 1 after Mandelson promised to ensure that every penny of disposable income Britons had would be passed directly to record companies.

Lord Mandelson's new Digital Rights Bill, ensures that Geffen records - who signed the Business Secretary to a 6-album deal in Corfu this August - will receive £50,000 per British household whenever they are suspected of possibly listening to any music. This will be enforced by the creation of new offences, as required, which permit music fans to be charged and fined whenever the record companies fancy buying a new helicopter.

Record company exec Sleb Starfucker said, "Lord Mandelson has been a real star discovery for the music business. He's going to be an absolute goldmine, because we can get him to screw anyone in the UK with an internet connection for as much as we want, whenever we want. He's got a lovely singing voice, too".

'Foy Boy', which is released on 5 December in time for Christmas, has been described by critics as combining the very best of Jedward with the very worst of Stalin', and includes the tracks 'Mandy's Man', 'Slave to the Oligarch' and the hit single 'You've Got An Internet Connection, You Must Be Guilty of Something So Give Us All Your Money, You Bastard'.

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Constantly Furious said...

Dear Mr Geekin'

You have breached copyright on the term 'Foy Boy', coined by one Mr Constantly Furious in August of this year.

You may choose between:

a) paying 50,000 pounds to Mr Furious (paypal is acceptable)

b) being disconnected from teh Interwebs. For ever.

Choose wisely...

Anonymous said...

It has also been announced that Mandy's next single will be a cover version of the Duran Duran hit, Rio.

banned said...