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Monday, November 16, 2009

Plastic Chemicals 'Feminise Boys'

Not girly: this boy's mother wasn't exposed to plastics.

Chemicals in plastics alter the brains of baby boys making them 'more feminine', according to researchers in the US.

The research adds to concerns about the safety of phthalates, which are found in vinyl flooring and shower curtains.

The head of the research group, Amanda Bulldyke, said, "results from urine samples, combined with behavioural analysis, showed that babies born to women exposed to a diet of phthalates were more likely to be utter nancy-boys. I mean complete wusses, you wouldn't believe it. Honest. They were playing with dolls and everything".

The Department of Health urged mothers not to panic at the results. Health Secretary Andy Burnham appealed for calm, saying, "while this research is worrying, we would urge expectant mothers not to change their diets. Eating the odd shower curtain or bit of linoleum as part of a balanced diet is not going to result in your baby boy growing up to be Danny La Rue or Graham Norton".

Labour MP and wimmins activist Harridan Harperson welcomed the findings and called for phthalates to be added to the UK water supply in the same way as fluoride. She added, "this is the perfect antidote to the horrid disease that is manliness. By introducing phthalates as a water additive, we can ensure the final supremacy of the sisterhood and the emasculation of all men, who I know aren't as good as wimmin at anything."

However, men's rights activists have criticised the findings and the research methods. David Pussywhip of 'New Age Men For Equality Now, Please, If That's Alright Darling' said, "we refute this research completely. It's wrong to say that men are being feminised in any way. Men are as big and tough as we have always been, and no amount of lino-poisoning will change the fact that it's a man's world. Does my bum look big in these jeans?"

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