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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Ross Returns to TV Screens

Chat-show host Jonathan Ross is set to return to our screens tomorrow, following his three-month suspension by the BBC over the 'Sachsgate' phone-message scandal.

Ross, whose estuary-accented quips have garnered him millions of fans and millions of pounds, returns to prime-time TV as the host of 'Fonejacker', the show dedicated to prank telephone calls.

A BBC spokesman said, "Jonathan is eager to return to the fray, and excited about bringing Fonejacker to a wider audience. His seminal work with Russell Brand proved his tremendous talent in making inappropriate calls, and we look forward to causing offence and complaints on a much wider scale across the nation".

The spokesman added, "but it's important viewers don't think that Jonathan is completely forgiven for his mistakes. As a result, his first prank calls on Fonejacker will be to Rory McGrath, Ruth Rendell and Canon Roger Royle".

However, not everyone has welcomed the rhotically-challenged Ross's return. Ms Hilary Dour, of the pressure group 'Action Against Anything At All', decried the BBC decision and claimed Ross had not been punished enough by his suspension and the loss of his presenting gig at the British Comedy Awards,

Ms Dour claimed, "Ross said nasty things and offended me. He should be completely banned, and as such AAAAA will be campaigning for a return to capital punishment and his hanging, drawing and quartering. His head should be on a spike outside Broadcasting House!", before the nice men gave her her medication.

Mr Ross was unavailable for comment, so this Correspondent left seventeen messages on his answering machine alleging he'd slept with Ross's wife.

1 comment:

banned said...

Vile slug, I'm just happy not to own a TV and thus not paying his obsene salary.