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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Experts Warn of Social Media Catastrophe

Scientists have warned of an impending economic catastrophe, warning that the UK is reaching a possible 'Social Media Event Event Horizon'.

Speaking at SocMedAmpBarUnconfTweetupCamp '09, the 361st Social Media conference of 2009, Web 2.0 analyst Scobie Brogan said "we are entering uncertain times, where the sheer number of So.Me. conferences could result in a phenomenon known as the 'Social Media Event Event Horizon'. This occurs when the number of events taking place mean that delegates can do nothing other than attend Social Media Conferences, and the only economic movement is the payment of money to keynote speakers at Social Media Conferences".

Brogan warned that the impact of the Social Media Event Event Horizon would be severe, resulting in the collapse of traditional businesses as anyone who has an account on Twitter sets themselves up as an independent 'Social Media Consultant'. He added "the eventual result would be the complete collapse of society, with the only interactions being 140-character Tweets and Facebook updates".

Environmental campaigners also supported the warning at the Conference, which was also liveblogged, Tweeted, streamed on YouTube and moblogged on Qik. Green Web activist Greena McGreen pointed out that the noise pollution caused by large groups of geeks, gathering in a single place and spouting incessant bollocks about Web 2.0, was damaging to wildlife over a wide area.

'Father of the Web' Tim Berners-Lee was unavailable for comment, as he had better things to do.


Bill Quango MP said...

I live in fear that Mrs Quango's facebook "friends" may one day show up, expecting board and breakfast,and asking me questions like "If you were a shoe, what sort would you be?"
The nightmare.

Anonymous said...

S'ok, we just need to wait for the lemon-scented napkins to arrive, for our comfort and convenience, and we'll know that society is back on an even keel...:)

Anonymous said...

You left out the Friend Feed Feild effect !