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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

'The Wright Tweet': Top Tory Bloggers Change Allegiance

'Damascene moment': The Tweet that changed the world for political Bloggers.

A group of right-of-centre bloggers have today announced that they are withdrawing their support for the Conservatives, and are to put their support behind the Labour Party and PM Gordon 'Colostomy' Brown.

Speaking at a joint news conference, bloggers Iain Dale, 'Tory Bear' and 'Dungeekin' stated that they were changing their allegiance in response to the 'profound and meaningful campaign tactics' of Labour Minister David Wright MP.

Dale, who had formerly intended to stand as a Conservative Party candidate, confirmed that he had submitted a membership application to the Labour Party and added, "David Wright's description of the Conservatives as 'scum-sucking pigs' was so. . . so . . deep. It touched a nerve deep inside me, appealing to all that I believe to be good and worthy about political debate. I now know that Gordon is The Saviour of the World, and will devote the remainder of my life to ensuring a Glorious Socialist Future."

His words were seconded by 'Tory Bear', who said, "David Wright has shown me the error of my ways. I realise now that the 'I've Never Voted Tory' campaign by the Conservatives is an example of the nasty party's dirty campaign methods, forcing voters to look at the issues instead of noting how emotional Gordon can be on-camera with Piers Morgan. With debaters like David Wright MP in the Labour Party, I know now that I was foolish to think that the Tories were the party of the future. How can I have been so blind?"

Satirical blogger 'Dungeekin', who had previously made disparaging comments concerning the Labour Party, confirmed that he is to re-edit all his articles to say nasty things about David Cameron instead. He also said, "Seeing David Wright's erudition was my Damascene moment, and I am now totally converted. I am bowled over by the inherent kindness and gentleness of the Labour Party's Twitter-based campaigning, and hereby bestow all my worldly goods upon Gordon in abject obeisance at his majesty."

Other right-of centre Bloggers are expected to follow Dale, Tory Bear and Dungeekin 'across the floor' in the next few days, as the full impact and sagacity of Wright's ejaculation spread throughout the political blogosphere.

David Wright MP was unavailable for comment, as he was working with his Special Advisers to produce a further 140 characters of profundity, genius, kindness and wit.

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Pam Nash said...

The Tory Party, faced with the sense and erudition of the Labour movement, will cease to exist.

In other news, Twitter were delighted to learn that their platform contains more functionality than even they knew. A spokesman said 'The ability to edit published tweets will delight and inspire Labour Twitter members and we expect them to exploit it to it's full potential.'

imbunatatire said...

Thanks for the'll really help me with my new project :D


Praguetory said...

Bravo. I hope I am not too late to be part of this momentous tipping point in British politics.

Anonymous said...

Another masterful piece of satire!

Linked ;-)

patently said...

I'm thinking of joining Labour just to get the ability to edit tweets.

Where do you notify Twitter of your membership status?

Anonymous said...

David Wright, living proof that Twitter is haiku for morons

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