Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Shock and Horror at Killer Killer Whale

A Killer Whale with his trainer. Who doesn't look anything like a seal, honest.

Management at Orlando's Seaworld have launched an urgent enquiry, and spoken of their shock and horror, after one of their performing killer whales killed a trainer.

The trainer was giving a demonstration in front of hundreds of people when the whale, Tillikum, grabbed her and dragged her underwater.

A spokesman at Orlando Seaworld said, "we are devastated by what's happened, which is totally out of character for Killer Whales, especially Tillikum, who is a very gentle killer whale who's never killed and eaten anyone. Apart from that time in 1991. And the one in 1999.

"We will be conducting an enquiry to establish the circumstances behind this tragic and isolated incident, the likes of which has never happened before except in 1991. And 1999. Our research shows that Killer Whales are lovely, cuddly creatures who, in the wild, like to jump around in front of an audience, jump through hoops and cuddle baby seals. The idea that a Killer Whale might actually kill anything seems completely unreal."

One specialist in cetacean psychology, speaking exclusively to The Diary, denied rumours that Tillikum was, in fact, the world's first serial killer Killer Whale and instead suggested that the whale may have been acting in anger at having a stupid name and being required to perform mindless tricks for a gawping, gormless general public.

Charles Darwin was unavailable for comment.

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1 comment:

Richard fromThe Economic Voice said...

Bloody hilarious ha ha hahahahahah...........

I was just thinking the same thing myself.

It reminds me of a time my father took me to see a chap do an exhibition with some deadly snakes in Australia.

He got bitten by a snake and died in rehearsals so the show was cancelled .

I call it the Steve Irwin factor.