Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Alternative Voting - In Song

Apropos of THIS, let's have a little song about Alternative Voting:

David Cameron: You know, Electorate, you are privileged to live in this age of quality democracy.
The Electorate: Really? You think so? Seems to me that nearly all elections these days are completely rigged trash.
David Cameron: Yes, quite right. But never before in history have we had such a wide selection of rigged electoral methods!

When the PM lauds a policy he used to disavow,
When he says 'we must reform the voting system and here's how',
When he knows that everybody wants to vote him out RIGHT NOW,
Then the plain situation,
The simple declaration
Labour's trying to rig elections with AV!

Now as Brown cries on the TV and beats up his office staff,
We know Mandy's in the background making plans on his behalf,
So the thought that AV's fairer should be one to make you laugh,
They can try to deny it,
But there should be a riot,
Labour's trying to rig elections with AV!

And five more years of Brown will make us all feel ill,
As all our taxes rise to pay his spending bill,
*Then there's Balls and Harman*

Now we know that Gordon Brown's the worst PM there's ever been,
AV's use of second choices could still keep him on the scene,
We've had twelve years of New Labour and can't cope with seventeen,
Oh there ain't nothin' to it,
They're gonna try and do it,
Labour's trying to rig elections with AV!

The Electorate: You know, I think I'm getting the idea, David!
David Cameron: Uh? You see?
The Electorate: Absolutely! Hey, how about this:

Labour want to keep their seats by any means they can contrive,
With their MPs and their ministers all desp'rate to survive,
So they've tried to get the Lib Dems help to keep their hopes alive,
No we won't over-sell ya,
We merely wanna tell ya,
Labour's trying to rig elections with AV!

Now to say that AV's fairer is a lie and a disgrace,
They just want to rig the system to help Labour win the race,
Brown is only recommending it to keep himself in place,
Oh you ought to deplore it,
You really can't ignore it,
Labour's trying to rig elections with AV!

Now if you want to see this nation on the mend,
We need to bring New Labour's regime to an end,

So to sum up the philosophy on which we're all agreed,
All the garbage in the Cabinet is just what we don't need,
And that AV's just another way for Labour to mislead,
When you pull back the curtain,
It's absolutely certain,
Labour's trying to rig elections with AV!

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1 comment:

Macheath said...

/applause: an impressive feat of rhyming dexterity!

Back in the 80's, I and the other members of University Left sat wide-eyed and rapt at the feet of Party Spinmeisters as they explained the dark arts of manipulating AV to win elections.

Now, just when the knowledge would be useful, I find it's vanished into the mists of time.