Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Typical right-wing Blogger. . .

... Always misplacing the blame.

The lovely, fragrant - though clearly clinically insane - Juliette brings her incisive analysis to Deborah Orr's piece in the Guardian pleading the case for leniency to the two boys guilty of the Edlington torture case.

Obviously, like any typical Tory, Juliette isn't prepared to look at the truth of the case and identify the real criminal influences behind it, preferring instead to blame the children themselves and their parents. Her references to eugenics show that she's clearly a Nazi or something anyway. But let's get things straight about this awful case.

Of course it's not the fault of the children. To even suggest that these pre-teen boys, who tortured, sexually assaulted and battered two other children, should be responsible for their actions - or even to have any understanding of the concepts of right and wrong, is utterly reprehensible. They deserve our sympathy and leniency*, having suffered a lifetime of abuse and deprivation at the hands of their parents...

But their parents were not at fault. Yes, they were violent, abusive, fuelled with drink and drugs, but they cannot be blamed for this. These were two human beings who would have been fine, upstanding citizens had they not suffered the stigma of poor education and never having had jobs.

And of course their long-term unemployment and poor education wasn't their fault. We must identify the real culprits. They needed the proper basis for their future...which they would have had, and been fine upstanding citizens, had they had the right start in life, which they didn't because...

...Thatcher stole their milk.

Therefore, in the interests of fairness and correctness, we should release all the criminals, especially these poor children who were guilty only of being 'Thatcher's grandchildren', and instead arrest and imprison anyone who was a member of the Conservative government between 1979 and 1997, as they are responsible for all the sins of the world.

See, I can do this Righteous stuff. Can I have a column in the Guardian?

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Ted Treen said...

Absolutely superb.

I wonder how many twonks in "Grauniad Towers" would actually take this very seriously if your last sentence were omitted.

Certainly not less that 98%, methinks.

I'm sure they won't find it at all funny, but then the Left's sense of humour is no laughing matter anyway.

Brennig said...

Erm, no you can't. You'd only nuke them when they weren't looking and someone would have to clear up the mess afterwards.

Dungeekin said...

You say that like it's a bad thing, Brennig...

...But just imagine a mushroom-cloud directly over the head of Polly Toynbee and tell me it doesn't make you smile!


Brennig said...