Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

New Banking Minister Appointed

Following the announcement that the Government is to take majority control of the Lloyds Bank group, it has been announced that a new Minister for Retail Banking has been appointed.

The Government now owns approximately 65% of the troubled group, which inherited massive debts from HBOS following its enforced takeover last year. When combined with its ownership of both Northern Rock and RBS, this now leaves the Government as the UK's largest retail banking consortium, and Business Secretary Dark Lord Mandelson said, "as we're now owning the proles involved in the retail sector, it's only right that there is a Minister appointed to fully explain the impact of this to the sheep people".

The new Retail Banking Minister is Halifax Howard, who described his new role as 'humbling'. He added, "this will be a new path for me, but in many ways it's more of the same. I'm pretty used to spouting misleading bollocks from a failing organisation, having done it for Halifax for years".

1 comment:

Bill Quango MP said...

Another first class post. Excellent.

Are we to expect scrouge McDuck fronting new HBoS adverts.
For Lloyds i'd have the mentalist himself with, "Spend it. Its worthless as savings. An I'm taxing your 0.25% interest at 40%. So bloody well get out any buy a Prius"