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Friday, March 27, 2009

Monarchy Faces Constitutional Reform

The Judging Panel of the UK's latest Reality TV contest.

In the biggest shakeup of the constitutional Monarchy since Henry VIII had a row with his wife, the Government have announced sweeping changes to the Succession process.

In a bid to modernise the Monarchy and to bring the succession process in line with modern thinking, Her Majesty is to appear in a new Reality TV show, 'Britain's Next Monarch'.

Announcing the new Succession format, Lord Falconer explained, "the Succession will be decided over a 12-week series, with 12 members of the general public competing. They will be housed in Windsor Palace and will face a series of challenges, from delicate waving to hosting State Banquets and deciding on New Years' Honours. Each week, two candidates will be nominated by a public vote and sent to the Tower of London, and in the Verdict show on the Sunday the Queen and the Prime Minister will announce who is to be saved and who is to be beheaded on Tower Green".

Lord Falconer added that the Auditions for 'Britain's Next Monarch' would also be televised. The Auditions shows will be hosted by Ant & Dec, and the the judging panel will include Davina McCall, Simon Cowell and HRH Prince Philip. Lord Falconer said, "We expect that with Simon and His Highness, both known for their plain-speaking, sparks will fly! Of course, Prince Philip has said he doesn't want any darkies or slitty-eyed chinks getting through, but we think we've explained enough about multiculturalism to him now".

The new show is likely to be a massive hit in the BBC's prime-time Saturday slot, and calls to the voting lines are expected to cost £1.50 with 90p of each call going to the National Debt.

1 comment:

banned said...

Nice take on a subject that has been brought to the surface in a bare-faced attempt to divert us from more important things, fucked economy, emerging police state, that sort of thing.