Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

British Vagrant Arrested in White House

Police image of the arrested vagrant.

A man has been arrested in Washington DC after allegedly attempting to enter the White House claiming to be a British politician.

According to US State Department officials the man, who was scruffily-dressed and appeared to have psychological problems, was intercepted by Secret Service Agents while trying to climb into the White House through the window to the Lincoln Bedroom.

White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel said, "the man was wearing a suit that appeared unpressed, had a strange stare with a wonky eye, and his lower jaw appeared to be incorrectly hinged. He resisted arrest by Secret Service Agents, claiming to be 'a world statesman' and 'the saviour of the world', and alleged he was entitled to a joint Press Conference with His Holiness the President because - and I quote - 'that fucker Tony got one, I'm the world's greatest economist, I should get one too'".

Mr Emanuel stressed that at no time was the safety or security of the President in doubt.

Sources within the Washington Metro PD have indicated that the person - who is believed to be an insane vagrant - is claiming to be the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. He is to be held in the DC County Jail until his identity can be verified.

Foreign Office officials are reported to have visited the man, and Foreign Secretary David Millibland said, "we believe it will take several months - even years - to prove that this man is who he says he is". Rubbing his hands with glee, he added, "won't that be a shame".


Anonymous said...


Thanks for giving me a laugh as soon as I get in, piss wet through, from work!


John M Ward said...

Sounds very plausible to me! His lower jaw isn't the only "unhinged" aspect of him, either…