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Sunday, February 08, 2009

Prince Philip To Divorce

Prince Philip showing the scars of his latest beating

HRH Prince Philip, consort to Queen Elizabeth II, has filed for divorce, citing 'unreasonable behaviour'. He is also reported to have fled the marital home, and is believed to be staying at a refuge in Hackney.

Racist icon Philip, 126, filed for divorce in Bow Family Court yesterday following reports of domestic violence at Buckingham Palace, which led to him being photographed sporting a black eye.

An anonymous source at the Palace said, "Philip's always been terrified of Liz. She'll be fine for ages - and then she'll have a pink gin too many, and the fists start flying. She and her Mum used to give him a right kicking".

Her Majesty declined to comment, saying, "Get the f*** out of one's face! You want some of one? Do ya? F***ing come on then, one will have you!"


Hedgewytch said...

Pink Gin *giggles* this is just too perfect!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, like the swan who is supposed to mate for life, the Prince will be flying the nest, an outcast from the flock, left to preen his ruffled feathers and wish he had some vital organ he could reclaim like that sad bloke in America.

Anonymous said...

Outrageous and disrespectful to Her Majesty...

...but still bloody funny. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Poor old chappie. Hope he gets a state funeral, nobody else deserves one more.

He's had a hard row to hoe, as it were, and the boy done well.

But funny anyway.

banned said...

Her Majesty has not been unreasonable; She only beats him up when She finds him shagging one of Her staff. Doing the Ladies In Waiting is bad enough but when it's an aide-de-camp She really flips Her lid and calls him a "bent fucker" before belting him with a corgi.