Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Home Secretary Admits Expenses Error

Home Sec Jacqui Beria selecting which pool of taxpayer cash to dip into next

Hapless Home Secretary Jacqui Beria has admitted that she was wrong to have claimed a total of £116,000 of taxpayers money for lodging at her sister's house in London.

Mzzz Beria had reported to Parliamentary authorities that the house in her constituency she shares with her husband and children was her second home, which allowed her to claim the money - paid tax-free - from the Additional Costs Allowance pool.

However, speaking to journalists yesterday while writhing scantily-clad on a bed strewn with £50 notes, Mzzz Beria admitted that the claim was 'an error of judgement' that she would be rectifying in future.

She added, "I've made such a cock-up. It turns out I could have been claiming £24,000 per year and I've only actually been claiming £22,000. It's so embarrassing. I will, of course, be making a full apology to the House for failing fully to dig my Stalinist snout into the trough".

Mzz Beria defended classing her family home as the second home, saying, "it's perfectly legitimate and right to do so, as it allows full exploitation of the expenses system. And anyway, who would want to admit to living in Redditch?"

The Home Secretary earns a Ministerial salary of £142,000 and claimed a further £152,000 in expenses in the '06-'07 financial year - including £40,000 paid to her husband who is apparently her assistant, despite living almost 120 miles away from her day-to-day office.


Obnoxio The Clown said...

Home Sec Jacqui Beria selecting which pool of taxpayer cash to dip into next

Eeny meeny miny mo, catch a trougher by the toe, if she squeals then let her go, eeny meeny miny mo.

The fat old boot-faced cunt.

Bill Quango MP said...

Any relation top that super Stalinist Home Secretary who was shot in with his own pistol when the comrades turned on him?

History repeats, with any luck.

banned said...

Clearly she mis-lodged so that's all right then.