Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Queen Sacked for Racism

Her Majesty and Prince Philip hosting a recent Klu Klux Klan meeting at Balmoral

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II has been summarily dismissed from her post for racism, after it emerged that the gift shop on her Sandringham estate was selling golliwogs.

Rioting broke out as outraged Guardian readers attacked the shop, calling for the immediate dissolution of the Monarchy as a symbol of racial oppression. In a joint statement, the announcement of the sacking of the Queen was made by Prime Minister Gordoom Brown, BBC Director-General Mark Thompson and Trevor Phillips of the Equality and Human Rights Commission.

Mr Phillips said, "it is clear from this egregious act of selling a cuddly toy that the Monarchy is institutionally racist. We have therefore taken the sad decision to summarily dismiss the Queen from her post as Head of State with immediate effect. Gordon Brown will take over as interim Head of State until a racially-acceptable candidate can be selected - we are currently interviewing and have shortlisted Lord Ahmed, Polly Toynbee and a woman in a burqa".

BBC DG Mr Thompson added, "we cannot have racism or derogatory actions of any kind unless they're made about Poles, Jews, black American males or the Royal Family, and even then such comments should only be made by highly-paid professionals or fat obnoxious twats like Chris Moyles. It is therefore right that the Queen should be removed from her post, despite the public apology for her crass actions".

Her ex-Majesty declined to be interviewed, however in a statement her husband Philip said, "I can't see what the bloody problem is. So the doll looks like a nignog. Bloody good show, if you ask me. Better a darkie than a slitty-eyed chink, what?".


Henry North London 2.0 said...

well spotted Young Skywalker

Bernard said...

Best laugh I've had all week.

banned said...

This is all Lies ! The truth is out there
"the Queen is to send a written apology to every Afro-Caribbean person in the Commonwealth after it was revealed the Royal Estate at Sandringham was employing thousands of golliwog toys as slaves.
The toys, originally captured and sold to the Crown by the Thatcher family, have now been freed."

Daily Mash

God Save The Queen

Anonymous said...

Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!