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Sunday, February 08, 2009

Haulage Industry Reports Increased Traffic

A British truck delivering the latest batch of immigrant workers

Despite the Recession, the Credit Crunch and high fuel prices, Britain's truckers are today reporting a 100% increase in traffic in 2008.

Freight companies have reported an increase in illegal immigrant imports from 1400 in the '06-'07 financial year to a much more healthy 3300 for the 2008 reporting period, and has shown no appreciable slowdown despite economic conditions.

Ramazan Zorlu, of North London human-trafficking company SneakinPeople Ltd, welcomed the increase as a boost to the UK economy, saying, "well, we're doing alright. Our innovative new people-trafficking system can be retrofitted to any lorry, and we've seen a 30% increase in like-for-like smuggling over the last quarter".

Business Minister Lord Mandelson praised the ingenuity of the truckers, and said that this growth vindicated Labour's employment policy. He added, "this increase in imports provides both much-needed revenue to our struggling organised-crime syndicates, as well as an increase in the important services such as traffic-light windscreen-washing, cockle-picking and the sex industry. Plus it keeps the money in circulation, which is the main thing".

French President Nicola Sarkozy also hailed the announcement, which he claimed was in part due to a ground-breaking new agreement signed between the French Government and Albanian organised-crime syndicates. M Sarkozy said, "Our exports are up 100% since the deal was signed, and anyway - now it's the problem of les rosbifs", before bursting into uncontrollable laughter and popping off to give Carla one.

An Albanian private sector worker, contacted for their opinion while he was washing this Correspondent's windscreen, declined to comment.

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