Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Outrage over Clarkson 'Idiot' Jibe

Outspoken Top Gear presenter Jeremy Clarkson has caused outrage after he branded Prime Minister Gordon Brown a 'one-eyed idiot'.

At a press conference in Sydney, promoting his Top Gear Live tour, Clarkson compared Brown negatively to Australian PM Kevin Rudd, saying, "Poor man - he's actually seen the books. We have this one-eyed Scottish idiot who keeps telling us everything's fine and he's saved the world and we know he's lying, but he's smooth at telling us."

The National Society of Village Idiots immediately condemned the outspoken presenter's remarks, which they said were 'insulting and demeaning to idiots everywhere'. The Society's Patron, Amia Thicki, called for Clarkson to apologise, and added, "the vast majority of UK idiots are decent, honest and hardworking individuals - just a bit thick. To compare them to a venal, psychotic, megalomaniacal whack-job like the Prime Minister is offensive in the extreme".

Labour Minister of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda, Derek GoebbelsDraper, was also quick to castigate 6'5" Clarkson for his comments. He said, "The Prime Minister is a highly intelligent, sensitive man. He is a towering intellect, a genius of our times who should be viewed with the same exaltation as Newton, Einstein and Kim Jong Il. Just look at how masterfully our Great Leader has handled the economy. Clarkson must be made to pay dearly for his sedition against the Glorious One".

In a statement, released to rapturous applause, Jeremy Clarkson apologised unreservedly for the offence he had caused by his remarks. He said, "I realise that calling Gordon Brown a one-eyed Scottish idiot was offensive and has upset many of my fans. In clarification, what I meant to say was that we have a monocular Jock cretin claiming to be in charge, who can't even manage his own bladder control, much less the economy".

SNP Leader Alec Salmond offered your correspondent an interview, but we weren't interested in what the Jocks had to say about it.


Anonymous said...

Apologised? What on earth for???

Bill Quango MP said...

Notice he apologised for the monocular remark.

The 'idiot' bit seems to have been accepted by beeb as within the bounds of reality.

banned said...

Makes me laugh that every radio broadcaster in the land repeated the phrase in mock condemnation as often as possible.

"Jeremy Clarkson has apologised for his remarks, calling the Prime Minister A ONE EYED SCOTTISH IDIOT (pause ), in the rest of the news..."

In just the same way that they all said gollywog this and gollywog that during that phoney farrago.

Ha Ha Ha own goals for The Innapropriatte