Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Specialist Twitter Unit to Train Police

Suspected Thought Criminal and Terrorist Paul Chambers.

Social Networking site Twitter has announced that it is to send a team of specialists to South Yorkshire Police headquarters to provide an education course in the use of the site. The announcement came after a Twitter user was arrested, interrogated, bailed and banned from an airport after making a comment alleged to be a terrorist threat.

Paul Chambers made a tongue-in-cheek comment allegedly threatening to blow up Robin Hood airport, in Doncaster, during the height of the travel chaos caused by last week's weather. He remains suspended by his employer and has received a life ban from the airport.

The crack team of Twitterati, which includes psychologists, linguistic experts, bloggers, comedians and several burly gentlemen with lengths of 2x4, will endeavour to explain the concept of 'humour' to South Yorkshire Police.

Team spokesman Dungeekin said, "it is clear that South Yorks Police need some additional training in recognising jokes. Our team are geared up fully to provide this training, which will be delivered in a number of packages including the use of flamethrowers, mains voltage to the testicles of the Chief Constable and, of course, blowing up the police station. In a purely humourous way, of course".

A Government spokesman denied that the arrest was indicative of increased paranoia and surveillance, saying, "Law Enforcement and Intelligence services like a joke just as much as anyone. We like Benny Hill and stuff like that. But obviously we expect people not to say anything even remotely related to blowing shit up, wherever they are, as we automatically switch our brains off when we read things like that, and go into headless-chicken mode. And don't forget, we're always watching and listening. GO about your business, citizen".

Reports that Dungeekin has been arrested on suspicion of making jokes about blowing shit up in response to the arrest of someone making jokes about blowing shit up remain either unconfirmed or in an infinite recursive loop.

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1 comment:

Furor Teutonicus said...

Done in a mature, adult fashion blowing things up can be fun and a great way to relieve stress.