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Tuesday, April 14, 2009

PM Seeks Therapy for Speech Impediment

"No! No! I won't say the 'S' word, you can't make me!"

Gordon Brown has enlisted the help of a therapist to aid him in overcoming a speech impediment, according to Downing Street sources.

The PM has reportedly sought the help of Derek Draper, who was educated somewhere near Berkeley, to help resolve a problem that has been recurring since he took office in 2007.

A source close to Mr Brown said, "Gordon realises that there is a problem he needs to fix, and is getting help to do so. He has an intermittent stutter, which seems to come into play only when he is required to speak or write the word 'sorry'. There's just a mental block there, and the word simply can't get past his lips".

The anonymous source added, "it's even worse when he writes. He tries and tries, but his hand won't work. . . then he swiftly loses both his bladder control and his temper, and smashes yet another mobile".

Derek Draper refused to be drawn on specific cases, but confirmed that he was 'working closely with a senior figure'. Mr Draper said that while the case he was working on was complex and would not be quickly resolved, he hoped to be able to blame the Tories for it within the next six weeks.

1 comment:

Fidothedog said...

I can think of several s words that cover him, along with a few starting with other letters.