Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Blair to become Pope Tony I

His Holiness Pope Tony I tries his halo for size.

Following his enormous success as British Prime Minister, his tireless work in bringing regime change to war-torn Iraq and his subsequent complete brilliance in brokering a solid and lasting peace in the Middle East, Tony Blair has announced that his latest project is to become Pope.

Speaking to a massed gathering of the assembled faithful on a hillside near Galilee, Mr Blair called for a radical update of the Papal system of infallibility and for a shake-up of Catholic Dogma.

Mr Blair said, "As I stand here before my adoring fans, I say that the outdated structure of Papal infallibility must fall - because only I, Tony, am infallible. And I say to you that I will run for Pope as New Catholicism, and I will govern as New Catholicism".

The former PM is reported to have put together a team of 'cardinals' from his political days, including Alistair Campbell and John Reid. Peter Mandelson is to be appointed Archbishop of Westminster upon Mr Blair's ascension to the Papacy.

However, Mr Blair rejected rumours that John Prescott is to receive a Cardinalcy, pointing out that he'd never be able to handle the vow of celibacy.


il papa said...

Be careful what you wish for! :)

My guess is that the Kunt thinks he's suitable for the post!

Thinks; bribes, boys, money, Peter, money, sexual pervs, money,boys, Peter, money, halo, more money, bigger halo, go for it!

Anonymous said...

Popes usually take another name when the smoke goes up the chimney. My guess is Tone will be Pope Ever So Fucking Pious Butter Wouldn't Melt I.

Bishop Brennan said...

When Bliar became a Catholic, I stopped going to Church.