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Wednesday, April 15, 2009

BREAKING: Police Call For Tactics Review

Metropolitan Police Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson has called for a review of tactics in the wake of the protests at the G20 summit.

The Met has hired former Chelsea coach Jose Mourinho as a Special Adviser, to help them tighten up the areas identified as failings following their narrow win in the match with Protesta Anticapitalista on 1 April.

Sir Paul said, "while the overall performance was good, we can see there are some areas that require improvement. We believe 'The Special One' can improve our attacking force, especially right at the front in the face of the opposition".

He added, "Mourinho's review will focus on speeding up the Police attack, ensuring that the motivated forwards get in early, hard and fast with their batons. We've obviously got a couple of star hitters in our formation already, but we need more speed and more commitment to see more of the spectacular own goals the Met has managed to score with these protests".

1 comment:

banned said...

Meanwhile The Met will be secretly trialling their new ray gun which disables all recording equipment within a square mile.
This should end the so-called Police Brutality claims and allow " Our Finest " to really get stuck in.
They dismiss press reports of "censorship" as ridiculous and un-British since photographing Officers has been made illegal by the Mother Of Parliaments so what's your problem sunshine, do you want some ?