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Thursday, April 16, 2009

BREAKING: Damian Green Re-Arrested

Damian Green MP, shortly to become Camp X-Ray's newest inmate.

Shadow Immigration Secretary Damian Green has been re-arrested this morning, according to sources within the Metropolitan Police.

The MP, who was formally cleared by the CPS today following the November raids on his home and Parliamentary office, was apprehended while sleeping at his home just before dawn.

Officers from the elite PJSP* Unit of Scotland Yard conducted the raid, and Mr Green is currently being held in the high-security Belmarsh Prison awaiting further actions.

Mr Green is expected to face charges including 'Obstructing a Minister in the Course of Troughing Expenses', and 'Making a Home Secretary Look Like a Stalinist Twat with Intent'. Any trial would, however, be held in camera for reasons of national security.

A spokesman for the Home Secretary denied reports that Damian Green was facing extraordinary rendition, but he provided a statement from Jacqui Smith saying, "these charges are very serious and go to the heart of national security and my personal self-image. The Home Office will be pushing for the strongest possible punishment for Mr Green and to any other MP who dares to try and hold the glorious New Labour Party to account".

*Protecting Jacqui Smith's PrideJustify Full


Bishop Brennan said...

No doubt the PJSP Unit will also be after whoever released details of Richard Timney's masturabatory activities...

Anonymous said...

May I just say that the elite PJSP unit has so far failed miserably in protecting Ms Smiths pride given the revelations this past few weeks that they might as well give up and get back to hitting female protesters.