Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Mr Twit in Downing Street

Have you ever read 'The Twits'? You really should.

Mr Twit is a nasty, underhand, odious individual, reeking with the stench of malicious intent. He's full of devious, dastardly schemes - and it's one of those schemes that I'd like to share with you today.

To play a trick on his (equally nauseating) wife, every night Mr Twit sneaks from his bed and affixes 'a tiny sliver of wood, no thicker than a penny' to the bottom of Mrs Twits' walking stick (and to the legs of her armchair). This change being so infinitesimally slight, Mrs Twit of course doesn't notice.

And so it continues, night after night, sliver following sliver, the walking stick getting longer and longer. Until one day, the stick reaches a length Mrs Twit has to notice - and he convinces her that she's contracted 'The Dreaded Shrinks' - and makes her suffer to 'cure' her.

Dear Reader - for Mr Twit read Gordon Brown.

Similarly devious and sly, Mr Brown has performed the same underhanded trick upon the denizens of this country. Each Budget has added a small sliver of extra taxation and a small sliver of extra borrowing. Each Queens Speech has added a small sliver of legislation to remove another small sliver of our Freedoms. Sliver mounting upon sliver. Each one too small really to notice - until here we are today.

Our Economy has 'The Dreaded Shrinks'. Our liberty is suffering from a near-terminal case of the same. Somehow I doubt Roald Dahl would be proud of the Prime Minister using one of his books as an instruction manual.

One can only dream that the Right Honourable Gentleman suffers the same fate as the fictional character.

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