Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

A Christmas Message to the Helldesk

Dear Bane of my Life Helldesk Help Desk

Seasons Greetings, and my best wishes at this joyous time of the year.

As you know, as of early this afternoon our UK office shuts down, and to provide support to you I will be available on-call over Christmas for critical issues.

Please note the above - critical issues.

This means a major outage involving a large number of potential users for one of our 24/7 supported clients. Bearing in mind your recent phone calls to out-of-hours, 'critical' does NOT mean:
  • A scheduled backup delayed in starting by 20 minutes;
  • A single user unable to connect to the VPN on Boxing Day;
  • Anybody not receiving mail on their Crackberry;
  • One of our small clients wanting 'a quick change made while it's quiet';
  • Any ISP issues for the clients which shut down over Christmas.
I fully intend to partake deeply of the Christmas spirit this Holiday season. Interrupting my festivities with non-urgent, pointless or stupid calls will result in my travelling to your offices and stapling you upside-down to the wall by your genitals.

And then setting you on fire.

Love and Yuletide Felicitations


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You mean you won't drive all the way in to the office to come and reset my password? or plug this Network cable back in to my PC despite me calling you twelve times? Bah! :(