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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

PM to Give Relaunch Speech

"David, do you want this fresh bogey? I'm full up"

Following his recent Reshuffle, Prime Mincer Gollum Brown is to relaunch his latest revamp today, promising reform to revitalise his wrecked reign.

In a speech to be delivered to Parliament at 1230 today, the PM is to announce 'radical reform' of the British political system, and to talk to the Electorate in a way as yet unheard.

A senior Downing Street official said that Brown has been working on his speech almost continuously since the reshuffle was completed. He added, "this is the complete remake of Gordon Brown. He's been hard at work on this speech, ensuring that the British people hear something other than the same tired cliches of a normal Prime Ministerial speech". An anonymous source at Amazon also confirmed that the PM had purchased a thesaurus online.

Extracts of the speech leaked The Diary reveal that the PM intends to announce the following:
  • As Prime Minister, he will continue unwaveringly with the assignment tasked to him;
  • The nation is confronted by the most formidable fiscal exigency in a century;
  • He is persisting with the undertaking;
  • The Fiscal Exigency was incepted in the Colonies;
  • The Prime Minister's superintendency disembarassed the depositories;
  • His Presbyterian compunction compels him to act correctly;
  • The Prime Minister will persevere with the project.
The Downing Street official said, "as I'm sure the Electorate will see, this is a completely new approach for the Prime Minister. His speech will not mention his usual catchphrases at all.

"We're confident that this relaunch will be the one to gain Labour an historic fourth term in office, with Gordon Brown as our exalted Leader".

1 comment:

Edgar said...

I wonder if he has looked up what Roget makes of the word "politics"?