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Monday, June 15, 2009

Brown and Mandelson Rift Reported

Lord Mandelson was reportedly 'livid' at Gordon's handiwork.

Already reeling from disastrous results in the Local and European elections, Labour are now suffering from a split in the highest levels of Government, according to Downing Street sources.

Senior Downing Street officials are talking of a serious rift between the PM and the newly-appointed First Secretary of Whatever Gordon Asks, Lord Mandelson.

The split was first noticed on Tuesday, when the PM was reportedly seen locking himself in the Cabinet Office with a Pritt-Stick and Lord Mandelson's porn stash.

"It was ugly", said one senior official. "Peter found out that Gordon had replaced all the faces in his copy of 'Buff Brazilian Boys' with headshots of Barack Obama. Some of the pages were stuck together too. Peter was absolutely livid - along with his approved mortgage application and his signed nude photo of Elton John, that was some of his best wanking material".

A fight then reportedly broke out between the two, with Mandelson vowing to scratch Brown's eyes out and Brown desperately throwing mobile phones to keep the irate peer at bay. Video of the catfight is shortly to be released on YouTube.

The senior official added, "the two aren't speaking to each other at all now, and it's very difficult as they're still making revenge attacks. Just this morning, Peter tore up Gordon's copy of Hobby-Horse Felchers Monthly and it took us three hours to persuade Gordon to come out of the lavatory."

**Dungeekin is on Holiday. Normal service resumes 24 June.**

1 comment:

Cate Munro said...

Excellent! Made me laugh! ;-)