Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Blair Standing For Second Presidency

Beeblebrox: 'a strong contender against Blair'.

Following the revelation that his planned ascension to the Presidency of Europe is likely to fail, former Prime Minister Tony Blair has announced his intention to stand as a candidate for a further Presidency.

A source close to the ex-PM said that while the continent-wide antipathy toward his European candidacy for a position that doesn't even exist yet was 'upsetting', Mr Blair still felt that he had 'a lot to offer' the world as a political leader.

Speaking from his secret lair campaign headquarters inside a hollowed-out volcano, Mr Blair spoke exclusively to The Diary of his intention to stand for the position of President of the Galaxy, once faster-than-light travel is finally invented.

"It's the logical career progression for a venerated Statesman such as myself", Mr Blair said. "Now obviously, with the Lisbon Treaty yet to be ratified, I have been campaigning for a vacancy that didn't exist, and of course it is the same with the Presidency of the Galaxy. But I'm confident that with my assistance and support, science can make the necessary leaps to discover intergalactic travel - and once they do, then I will stand as the Presidential Candidate. I certainly have all the skills required of such a position".

The former PM pointed to his history of successful governance of the UK, and his successful mediation of the Middle-East crisis, as reasons why he should rule the Universe before being interrupted by a call from his mentor at Megalomaniacs Anonymous.

Political pundits have pointed out that Mr Blair is likely to face stiff competition for his Presidential place. Paul Votecounter, a spokesman for, said, "there are a number of valid candidates who would make Blair's candidacy far from guaranteed. These include the incumbent, Zaphod Beeblebrox, Ming the Merciless for the Lib Dems, and a strong showing for Davros, who's planning on 'exterminating' the opposition for the BNP.

"When allied to the fact that we can barely escape the gravity-well of this planet, we are currently giving Tony Blair odds of 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000:1 to take the Presidency."

However, there was a more positive respose from European political leaders, who have all volunteered to fund a space project to shove an Ariane rocket up Blair's arse and fire the grinning fool into orbit.


The Economic Voice said...

Bugger I was about to use that image....great minds an all that.

Did you see Questionable time last night?.....

How can so many people be so thick?....loads of the audience including John Sergent thought Blair would make a fine EU president!!!

Welcome to the United Comedown.

Bishop Brennan said...

TEV - as the BBC appear to have a strategy of recruiting leftie morons for QT - Mrs Brennan saw them recruiting at SOAS for the Griffin episode - it doesn't surprise me in the least.

As for Mr Blair, well he's arrogant, contemptuous of democracy and has enriched himself at the expense of taxpayers. Sounds to me like the perfect candidate for an EU job!

Hugo Drax said...

Tony Blair. You appear with the tedious inevitability of an unloved season

banned said...

Blair has lost interest in the EU Presidency because he has just noticed Copenhagen and intends to become President of the IPCC World Government.