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Friday, October 23, 2009

Sarah Brown Splits from PM

Sarah: "If he'd fucked me as much as the economy, I'd be smiling"

Prime Mincer Gollum Brown is to be divorced by his wife of nine years, Sarah, it was announced today.

A spokesman for Sarah Brown said, "Sarah has regretfully announced that she and Gordon are to part on grounds of unreasonable behaviour. She is hopeful that the split can remain amicable, and wishes it to be known she will not be suing for custody of Downing Street".

The first seeds of doubt about the Brown's relationship were planted at their wedding ceremony, when it took the then-Chancellor three months, two specially-appointed Presbyterian Ministers, seven focus groups and a Commission of Enquiry to reach the answer, "I do.".

However, the final straw reportedly came today, when a tearful Mrs Brown fled Downing Street following news that GDP had fallen again for the sixth successive quarter, against the Prime Mincer's projections.

Mrs Brown reportedly filed for divorce immediately upon hearing the news, saying, "when Gordon told me he could screw it longer, deeper and harder than any man in history, I didn't realise he meant the economy."

Mr Brown has not commented, and is being comforted in his private quarters by Peter Mandelson.

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