Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

A True Man's Dinner

A recipe for the times we Men are alone, and cooking just for ourselves.

1 Steak (see below for specifications);
1 Griddle Pan;
A good handful of peppery salad;
A large handful of asparagus spears;
1 Bottle good Scotch, plus the mixer of your choice;
Salt & Pepper to taste.

First, take your bottle and pour a large Scotch.

Next, place the griddle pan on a high heat, turn on the extractor fan and open a window. You'll need it.

Heat the griddle pan until it's smoking hot. Then heat it some more. And some more. Heat until you can hear the cast-iron singing and the kitchen feels like a sauna.

Heat some more.

Take 1 steak. Sirloin. This is not for preference, it's mandatory. Aged darker than an Aboriginal's arms, streaked through with yellow-tinged fat, thick as two of your fingers. Cheap Tesco meat is not an option here.

Add the steak to your griddle pan.

Cook for three minutes. Revel in the sweat pouring off you. Pour another large Scotch to replace the fluids lost.

Turn the steak. Ignore the flames and smoke. Cook for another three minutes. Boil 2 inches of lightly-salted water in a steamer. Pour another Scotch -for medicinal purposes.

Remove the steak from the pan, and the pan from the heat. Place on a bed of peppery salad (I recommend Waitrose Watercress, Rocket & Spinach) and leave to relax for ten minutes.

Put the asparagus onto the steamer, and cook for ten minutes while the steak is relaxing.

Season to taste, and serve it all with a peppercorn sauce if you must. Bearnaise is for girls.

Revel in the glory of being both man and cook.

Enjoy. And pour another Scotch.


Anonymous said...

I got hungry just reading this!

Dungeekin said...

I'm glad to hear it, Steaders.

I hope it also made you thirsty!

A votre Sante!