Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Is James Bond Loathsome?

So the very serious Mr Finlo Rohrer has graced us with his opinions on the BBC Website.

Apparently, we shouldn't enjoy the movies of the Bond franchise because of their sexism, racism, product placement and unbelievability.

Wow, Finlo. With that sort of attitude to life, you must be a real riot at parties.


Main Entry: en·ter·tain·ment
Pronunciation: \ˌen-tər-ˈtān-mənt\
Function: noun
Date: 15th century

1: the act of entertaining...3 a: amusement or diversion provided especially by performers b: something diverting or engaging: as (1): a public performance (2): a usually light comic or adventure novel

It's ENTERTAINMENT. It's supposed to be completely over-the-top. Watching 007 spend 72 hours on surveillance before obtaining a warrant really wouldn't make for a fun movie, would it?

While serious people such as yourself get aerated over the subtexts, most normal human beings are watching a bit of escapist fun, not an instruction manual for modern interpersonal relationships.

Finlo, you can wring your sandals in outraged post-feminist horreur that Sean Connery slaps a woman's behind in 'Goldfinger' - the rest of us have sufficient intellect to work out that a movie made in 1964 is unlikely to have the same social strictures as one made today. Of course the attitude to women is different to today! The books were written over 50 years ago.

Of course the villians were never English - this was pretty much the canon for the detective and spy novel of the time. Try reading a Modesty Blaise book or two, and you'll see exactly the same thing. You also missed the fact that in numerous instances, the villians are revealed as rank bad hats not because of their megalomania or murderous tendencies, but because they cheat at cards!

Of course there are all sorts of product placements. If you read the books, you'd see that Bond is an insufferable 'brand snob', having even his cigarettes made to his personal specifications. He also drives a Bentley, rather than the Astons of the films. And these days, without product placement and the investment that comes from it, films don't get made. There are many worse examples of this than the Bond franchise.

Oh, and if you want your PC bollocks to be taken seriously when you're ranting about stuff, get your facts right as well. In Casino Royale, he didn't drive a Ford Focus - it was a pre-production Ford Mondeo. Who, incidentally, own Aston Martin. And most of the other cars in the film as well.

Of course it's unbelievable and full of plot holes. it's MEANT TO BE, you plank. If I want serious, believable drama all the time I'll watch f&*%ing News 24. Sometimes we want escapism - fistfights, car chases, casinos, explosions and the occasional spot of casual shagging. If you don't like that, then don't watch it - but please, spare us all your sanctimonious critic's drivel.

However, to make you happy I'll post a screenplay of YOUR sort of Bond movie shortly - watch this space.

PS: Twat.

1 comment:

Avi-Hater said...

Superbly written! This Finola idiot deserves a Mr. Wint ending for even contemplating such an asinine piece of claptrap. His theories are all entirely without merit or base and you have deconstructed his arguments expertly. He, of course will try to re-package the almost-universal panning his tosh is rightfully receiving as spirited debate and congratulate himself on creating such. It is quite apparent that he possesses the almost unique level of self-delusion required to do so. Thank you for writing the response which I wearily felt I might have to had I not come accross your excellent piece first.