This evening, the Torygraph brings us news that should be greeted with a hearty, well-formed What The Fuck?
They're reporting that Lord Fondlebum of Fey and Heartlesspool is to become the Government's Minister for
Fucking hell, even the real Queen only does it once a year!
This is, to me, an announcement worthy of one of my satires for its delusion. The Dark Lord of the Sith, Pawn of the Russian Oligarchs - probably the most untrusted and untrustworthy excuse for a human being ever to stalk the corridors of power - is to 'sell the Government's message to the public'.
They might as well appoint Paul Gadd as Children's Minister, and Pol Pot as Commissioner for Human Rights.
OK, we all know that he's the power behind what's left of Gollum's throne, and very much the 'eminence grease', but Minister for Information? Seriously? This is a man that's had to resign not once, but twice, for alleged misconduct in office. Let me repeat that - twice. The man who compared Gollum Brown to Moses.
I know that to be a Labour Party member is legitimate grounds for sectioning under the Mental Health Act, but even so, where on earth did they do the focus group that thought this was a good idea? Rampton?
Of course, as far as LieBore are concerned, he's in the Lords - so he's the perfect
I would seriously advise anyone watching Lord Fondlebum's 'Addresses To The Nation' to treat them with the same degree of caution that any responsible lender would apply to a mortgage application from the Ignoble Lord.
Still, I suppose everyone's got to have an information minister. After all, Saddam had Muhammad Saeed al-Sahhaf.