Reading Labour's List

In a break from Tradition, this year saw Her Majesty the Queen deliver the speech at the State Opening of Parliament not in words, but instead in song:

As each year for the Government a speech one must propound,

One's reading Labour's list - one's reading Labour's list

One pretends to be a mouthpiece for a Leadership unsound,

And they never will be missed - they never will be missed,

One regrets that for Tradition's sake one can't just sit and laugh,
At the bare-faced cheek of Labour with their promises so daft,
Their MP's claiming second homes and cash for this and that,
And equating one to vermin, like one was not Royal but Rat,
One wishes one could just dissolve the House so they'd desist

But instead one sits upon one's throne and reads out Labour's list.

CHORUS.
She's reading Labour's list--She's reading Labour's list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed.


Their bald electioneering makes one's presence a disgrace,

One's reading Labour's list - one's reading Labour's list,

They've used one as a starting-gun for their Election Race,

And they never will be missed - they never will be missed,

And one's PM simply waffles in his dull and dismal tone,
I'm sure if I beheaded him then nobody would moan,
They pledge cash to the places on whose votes they can't rely,
Though one's benighted Government has milked its coffers dry,
But the powers of Tradition leave one helpless to resist,

So one's reading Labour's List - one's reading Labour's list!

CHORUS.
She's reading Labour's list--She's reading Labour's list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed.


I have watched New Labour decimate the quality of life

One's reading Labour's list - one's reading Labour's list,

And my Subjects all condemned to lives of penury and strife,

And they never will be missed - they never will be missed,

The one small consolation that I have to bear in mind,
Is with so little time left all these Bills will not be signed,
I wish like Monarchs past I could just execute a few,
Who so abused their power in their ruling over you.
But it doesn't really matter what I read out from this list

'Cause an election's coming and they'll none of them be missed.

CHORUS.
She's reading Labour's list--She's reading Labour's list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed.


(With apologies to HM, as well as G&S).