Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

BREAKING: Palace of Westminster To Be Closed

MP's - reconstituting Parliament in a new location

In a cross-party statement, it has been announced today that the Houses of Parliament, for centuries the seat of British democracy and governance, is to be closed with immediate effect. It brings to an end a history for the Palace of Westminster as the base for Government, an accolade it has held since the time of Edward the Confessor.

The shock move was announced by Deputy Minister for Everything, Lord Mandelson, in an emotional Press conference at 0800 today.

Lord Mandelson said, "It is right that Parliament move with the times and with events, and it is right that we modernise as required. The anachronism of the Palace of Westminster no longer tallies with the impression of MPs within the British public. Therefore, we must regretfully close the Palace of Westminster and move the seat of Government to a location more fitting to the status and position of British Parliamentarians".

Mr Mandelson's announcement follows news that six Parliamentarians are facing prosecution for fraud following an investigation by Scotland Yard into MP's expenses.

A spokesman for the Speaker's office confirmed that as a result of the expected prosecutions, the functions of both the Commons and the Lords were to be consolidated into a new Parliament in C Wing of Wormwood Scrubs.

Stumble Upon Toolbar

No comments: