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Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Labour Unveil New Campaign 'BattleBus'

Labour's 'BlunderBus' - the country's gone to hell in one, why not campaign in one?

With the date of the General Election announced, the Labour party has unveiled their 'battle bus', upon which they will take their message to the voters of Britain.

Lord Fondlebum of Fey, who is masterminding the campaign, said, "we have decided to eschew the traditional rented coach with its attendant luxuries for this election, instead choosing a method of transport that, we believe, clearly demonstrates the direction in which the Labour Party will take Britain should we win a fourth term."

The specially-commissioned handcart, affectionately nicknamed 'The BlunderBus', has been built in Britain* under Union supervision, and should be complete by next week if negotiations succeed in breaking the current strike over whether the hourly tea-breaks of the staff building it should be fifteen or twenty minutes. It will be pushed to its inevitable destination by Union leaders including Bob Crow and Charlie Whelan.

Lord Fondlebum added, "we believe the BlunderBus is a strong message to voters about their future under Labour - firstly in terms of direction and secondly because just like with the country, the handcart will largely be going downhill pushed by the Unions."

Speculation is rife about the choice of vehicles for other campaigning parties. However, the Conservatives have strongly denied rumours that David Cameron is to travel the UK upon a gilded palanquin, carried from place to place by two of his old fags from Eton. William Hague said, "it's utterly ridiculous to think that David would use such a form of transport. Anyway, Boris is already using it."

The Liberal Democrats have already confirmed that they will not be travelling the country during the Election campaign, but will instead be propounding their message from a nice comfortable bit of fence.

*Built in Britain - by a Chinese-owned company funded with EU money and staffed by migrant Polish workers.

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Anonymous said...

It is understood that the UNITE union has donated a dead horse to draw their bottlebus and Mandleson has donated one of his favourite whips, in order to flog it.

Sim-O said...

Built in Britain - by a Chinese-owned company funded with EU money and staffed by migrant Polish workers

from wood imported from Brazil