Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Face Transplant Man: "I'm Still Bloody Ugly"

"I said Brad Pitt, not John bloody Merrick"

The recipient of the world's first male face transplant has launched an unprecedented attack on the previous owner of his face.

James Maki, 59, who underwent the operation after suffering severe facial damage in a subway accident, launched into his tirade in an acrimonious Press conference this afternoon.

Maki, who had lost his nose, cheeks and top lip, claimed he looked like famous Muppet Show character 'Statler' and angrily said, "I'm gutted, quite frankly. I mean, I know beggars can't be choosers and all that, but come on, couldn't they have found somebody good looking?"

He added, "I'm disappointed in my surgeons. I pay my insurance, I should get what I want. I told them I wanted to look like Brad Pitt, not John bloody Merrick. How am I supposed to pull now?"

Mr Maki confirmed that he was seeking legal advice over redress for his face, but denied reports that he'd signed a lucrative deal with Max Clifford to be Jordan's next kiss'n'tell boyfriend.

Mr Maki is to play Statler, right, in a live-action Muppet Show in 2011.

Jim Henson's company 'Dreamworks' are reportedly interested in signing Mr Maki for a live-action version of the Muppets penciled for release in 2011.


Snarky Basterd said...

That's friggin' hysterical.

Obnoxio The Clown said...

The guy on the right isn't Statler, it's Old Holborn. :o>

killemallletgodsortemout said...

This is a disgusting post, which should be removed immediately.

The man suffered in an accident for fuck's sake, so he may have ended up ugly - not his fault, nor that of his parents.

Stephen Timms MP, on the other hand, is pug-fucking-ugly and should be removed from society. How the fuck we PAY for the ugly cunt is beyond me.

Unknown said...

I've justed found your blog and found it very amusing, until I got to this post. I have lost all the respect I gained for you and think it is utterly disgusting.

Don't try and kid yourself that this is satire, or lighthearted, it is nothing but cruel mockery of a man who suffered a devastating accident.

By thinking this it is acceptable to post something like this you are showing your true colours.

木村拓哉kimura said...