Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Thursday, November 20, 2008


Dear $LuserManager

Let's get something straight here. If I've taken the trouble to clarify the request with the requesting engineer, detail the steps necessary to implement the (complex) project requested, and made a recommendation that it's chargeable based on the technical information obtained. . .

Don't, don't, Don't You fscking DARE go over my head to the requestors saying it's simple, takes less time than recommended - and non-chargeable.

It isn't simple. It isn't supported. It sure as hell isn't free. Listen, you overpaid, underqualified, microscopically-genitalled, sub-protozoan excuse for a salesdroid. Your job is to go and make money, you simpleton - not to hand out the time of those who are actually competent as if it were Halloween sweeties. Your job is to generate profit. I realise that's not particularly easy, but it's a shitload harder if you don't fscking charge for anything, moron.

And there's more. When I've spent the last three MONTHS proving, with Crown-Court standard, beyond reasonable doubt evidence, that there's a bandwidth problem on a fscking site, don't you think that it's totally reprehensible, stupid and downright insane to recommend, implement and SCHEDULE a VoIP implementation? Especially without referring to me, without recommending a line upgrade and without any form of technical audit or input?

I knew you were an idiot. I knew you were dishonest. Now I'm firmly convinced that you should be nowhere near my Clients. In fact, I'd prefer it if you were straitjacketed, pumped full of Thorazine and dumped in landfill.

We are the Engineers. We know what is needed and how it is to be achieved. You cannot even connect your laptop to its power supply without raising a Helpdesk ticket, yet you presume to question the technical recommendations we offer, and make recommendations to Clients that will not only fail, but will backfire onto us? Quite frankly, we would see superior management decisions if you were replaced by the chair currently supporting the fat arse you clearly make decisions out of.

Consider yourself LARTed, you prize piece of reptilian pond-slime. A second rantable offence will result in The Wrath of Dungeekin being applied to sensitive parts of your anatomy with a claw hammer and lashings of Mains voltage. And a few of my Toys above.

FOAD - and your little dog too.




Hedgewytch said...

There are people that can deal with arsewipes like this for less than £500. Not that I know any details u understand

Anonymous said...

can they not just do everything lowercase. that would cut their bandwidth usage in half. since they would be using half the line height.

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! The Incedible Dungeekin-Hulk returns with a vengence. Your ranting is almost poetic, love it. Next time someone upsets me, remind me to let YOU blog about it! LOL! You stick to your guns (and other armery of which some look interestingly painful (heehee).


Brennig said...

You could always buy them another pair of baked bean tins and a length of string to double the bandwidth they already have...

Anonymous said...

I'm sensing a little bit of anger here, and possibly the fact you don't get of with the mangler in question? Have you considered counselling or anger management classes?


[This is the Dungeekin we love!]