Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Debt Counselling

Fudgit & Cashin Debt Counselling
Countin House
Rupts Bank

Dear Mr Darling

Thank you for your application for our 'Debt Writeoff Service'.

Unfortunately, having reviewed your figures, I regret to inform you that Fudgit & Cashin will not be able to assist with your National Debt problems on this occasion.

Your current debt is estimated at £1 Trillion. Given your current population of 60 million, this means a public debt level at £16,667 for every man, woman and child in the country.

Assuming a preferential interest rate of 2 percent per annum, this would result in an additional £20 billion in interest payments alone - or £334 for every man, woman and child just to pay the annual interest charges.

For your future reference, the UK Budget is not an interest-only mortgage, despite what Mr Brown has been telling you.

Your offer, therefore to repay the capital sum at £10 per week is not acceptable - because unfortunately doing so would take 1,923,076,923 years to satisfy the outstanding amount, and it's not that easy get creditors to accept a deal that outlasts the life of our Sun.

Might we suggest trying a refinancing deal with the Saudis? It worked for Barclays Bank.

Yours insincerely

B N Counter
Chief Accountant
Fudgit & Cashin Debt Counselling

1 comment:

Hedgewytch said...

*Nods sadly*
anyone want to hold him down while I punch him?