An official Honda statement said, "while we do not believe the vehicle problem to be life-threatening, we have recognised there are potential safety risks both to drivers and to other road users, and in the interests of good customer relations have decided to initiate a full recall to all the 171,273 Honda Jazz owners in the UK.
"An electrical issue in the dashboard of the car appears to lead to an odd temporal anomaly, making all Honda Jazz owners appear to be 150 years old and drive everywhere at 28mph with their foglight on and left indicator blinking incessantly. While the likelihood of serious injury as a result of this is low, we do appreciate that there are risks to other road users due to increased blood pressure, and that in rare cases a Jazz driver suffering the effects of the temporal anomaly may wander onto a motorway, thus causing utter carnage by driving in the middle lane at 41mph."
Sources within Honda UK said that they believed the temporal issues only affected a few cars, but they were recalling all of them as it was 'hard to tell' which people were affected, and which were normally-antiquated Honda purchasers.
Honda's announcement comes just 24 hours after fellow Japanese giant Toyota issued a safety recall on its hybrid Pious model, after fears that drivers were growing beards, wearing sandals and becoming insufferable envirowonks.