Time is a precious commodity. No matter who we are, no matter what our role, be it executive, engineer or stereo-fitter, there is never enough time. It's vital that what few, fleeting hours we have on this Earth are filled and gainfully used, not frittered away on wasteful and pointless acts.
So thank YOU, Halfords, for wasting over three of MY valuable hours, not to mention an hour of The Darling G's time just for good measure.
I first came in last Saturday. Having spent a not-inconsiderable amount of time being bounced from pointless droid to pointless droid, I found myself in conversation with one of your risibly-titled 'Sales Assistants', where I stated my requirements - a Parrot MKi9200 handsfree system. "No problem", says the salesdroid. "Do I need any additional parts?", I ask. "No", replies the droid, "not for a Saab 9-5". "When can you fit it?", I eagerly respond. "We can't do it today, as our fitter isn't in - but bring it back on Sunday. No need to book", says she.
So. Roll on to this Sunday, and I zoom over to your good selves, arriving just as you open.
"Oh no", says a different droid. "You haven't booked. We can't just do it". *Sigh*. One lengthy discussion involving the droid, the fitter and various poorly-veiled threats of retribution later, a deal is struck, a time of 3pm that day agreed and my bank account lightened to the tune of £200. "That covers all the costs", says the droid. "We don't need any special kit for the Saab 9-5".
Back home, do the things I need to do keeping half an eye on the clock, and I pitch back up at Halfords at 2:55pm as agreed.
"Oh no", says the fitter - the very same fitter who had been involved in the original booking. "You need additional parts - a [insert name of mounting bracket], we can't fit it". *Boggle*.
Three trips. Multiple questions. Over three hours of waiting and discussing with the Epsilon Semi-Morons you choose to employ instead of sentient beings. And you can't get something as basic as 'what extra kit is needed to fit system X' correct. It's a miracle of modern satnav technology that you manage to get to the store every day.
So thank you, Halfords. That's several hours of my life (and over 100 miles of fuel) wasted interacting with idiots. I spent the journey home deep in consideration of all the ways I could enact my vengeance - but in the end there was only one option. I should set you on fire.
I would, but sadly I don't have the time.