THE DIARY OF A GEEK IN OXFORDSHIRE


Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Government to Legislate for Snow Losses


Following the unprecedented weather which has brought large parts of southern England to a standstill, the Government has pledged to introduce legislation to prevent problems such as this recurring.

With approximately six million people unable to get to work, the Federation of Small Businesses has estimated that the snow, and the attendant transport chaos, has cost the British economy some £1.2 billion in lost revenue.

In an emergency statement to Parliament, Business Minister Peter Mandelson said that the damage to the economy was 'indefensible', and that in order to prevent a recurrence, the Government was introducing immediate legislation.

Mr Mandelson told MPs, "the Prime Minister has considered all the options available to prevent this sort of economic hit, especially in these difficult global times, and has decided that the best option is to implement the Weather Conditions (Emergency Control) Act. Under the terms of this new legislation, the planet will be banned from producing snow over the UK until after the Recession has passed. The same Act will also ban flash-floods and unseasonable heatwaves. This Government is confident of our ability to control the weather, and the new Act will ensure that British workers, in British jobs, will not be impeded in their duties by the inclement conditions".

Mr Mandelson added, "This legislation shows that we are doing everything in our power to keep Britain working, and getting on with the job - unlike the 'do-nothing' Tories, who would not have the courage to legislate against the weather".

A Downing Street spokesman denied reports that Mr Brown has taken to wearing a crown and is now demanding to be known as 'King Cnut, Ruler of the Waves'. David Cameron retorted that the new name was 'merely a typo' to the way most people felt about the Prime Minister.

1 comment:

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Bloody pathetic, growing up ( 1960's) in a small town in the north midlands we were frequently cut off by snow. It didn't stop us going to school and it didn't stop the grown ups from going to work.

Will the new legislation contain provision for fining the Met Office when the wrong weather happens ?