In a landmark event watched by billions worldwide, the historic 44th President, inaugurated just yesterday, left his Oval Office desk and walked, by himself, to the Presidential Bathroom where, according to aides, he produced a smooth, composed and dignified motion.
White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel, addressing reporters after the monumentous event, said, "We're delighted to announce this historic event by the historic first African-American 44th President of the United States. I personally spoke to the President before his action and asked him, 'would we like to go potty-poo now?', to which he replied 'Yes, we can'."
The historic first bowel movement had been delayed, according to Emanuel, by rich food ingested during the Inauguration Balls.
Emanuel added that the Presidential wiping also went smoothly, and that he could confirm that the historic President's shit did not, indeed, stink.
Members of the public in the historic first African-American's President's home town of Chicago were ecstatic at the news of President Obama's 'executive evacuation', with spontaneous demonstrations occurring across the city and many citizens defecating in the streets to show their unity with the historic 44th President, who was inaugurated yesterday.