The Scene: Deep in the bowels of Downing Street, late at night, Gordon's 'Emergency Making Gord Popular Committee' meets in secret.
Draper (for it is he) speaks. . .
"I've got a great idea for some publicity.
So there's the Recession and the Credit Crunch, right? And we're always telling people that it's not our fault, it's the Yanks and Banks, right? Well, how about this. . .
We'll take Gordon On Tour!
It's brilliant - he can tell everyone how he's listening, and getting on with the job of steering Britain through these difficult times. We won't even need to write new speeches, nobody's listening ten seconds after he's started anyway.
We can get some great photo-ops too - round up a few proles, tell 'em to smile or lose their Income Support, maybe a few kids at a local school. Gord loves that.
And - here's the really clever bit. Let's make sure he visits places that suffered high unemployment under Thatcher (cue spitting noises from all those present). That way we can blame the current mess on the policies of the Tories! I'm a bloody genius me!
Cost? Almost nothing. Shouldn't be more than about £600,000 for three days. We've spunked so much cash up the wall in the last few months, who's gonna notice another mill?"
Draper (for it is he) speaks. . .
"I've got a great idea for some publicity.
So there's the Recession and the Credit Crunch, right? And we're always telling people that it's not our fault, it's the Yanks and Banks, right? Well, how about this. . .
We'll take Gordon On Tour!
It's brilliant - he can tell everyone how he's listening, and getting on with the job of steering Britain through these difficult times. We won't even need to write new speeches, nobody's listening ten seconds after he's started anyway.
We can get some great photo-ops too - round up a few proles, tell 'em to smile or lose their Income Support, maybe a few kids at a local school. Gord loves that.
And - here's the really clever bit. Let's make sure he visits places that suffered high unemployment under Thatcher (cue spitting noises from all those present). That way we can blame the current mess on the policies of the Tories! I'm a bloody genius me!
Cost? Almost nothing. Shouldn't be more than about £600,000 for three days. We've spunked so much cash up the wall in the last few months, who's gonna notice another mill?"
1 comment:
Why can't he stay home and play guitar hero world tour.
It would so much better for everyone, including himself
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