Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

On $LUSERMANAGERs and Precise Requests...

Hehehe.....a nice little one today - just enough fun for a quick rant, with a proper post about life in general later.

$LUSERMANAGER calls in, ranting, roaring and raging because (he says) a recent firewall change isn't working.

"You're useless", says he. "I asked you to give me telnet access to foo, and it's not pingable from my machine! Fix it NOW!"

At this juncture, you'll need to visualise the bottle, dummy and cute little mittens being flung across the room in abject, infantile frustration. The mental image will work even better if you put the baby in a three-piece suit.


"So", I say, ever the voice of reason. "You can't ping it? Have you tried Telnet itself?"

"What's the point of trying bloody Telnet if I can't ping it?"

"Just.....humour me.".

It's at this point I should point out that our firewall rules are specific. Very specific, in fact. Right down to blocking everything except specifically-stated and requested ports.

Like, in this case, ICMP. Which he didn't ask for. So he didn't get.

The silence on the phone tells me everything I need to know. He needn't say a word.

Amazingly (I can't imagine why) his tone changes at this point. From the Incredible Hulk to Uriah Heap in one giant bound. One minute ago he was all for having me hung, drawn and quartered - now he's being so bloody obsequious[1] that I could request a blowjob in the middle of the office - and I'd get it, probably with a smile thrown in.

"Oh, thanks, it's working now. Thanks so much for doing this, I really appreciate it."

Yeah, right. Until the next time you want something and chuck a tantrum my 2yo son would be embarrassed by.

Which, if I know you, will probably be tomorrow morning.


[1]This post has been brought to you by Merriam-Webster and Carseycritter

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