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Wednesday, March 16, 2011

UK Government Plays Down Nuclear Power Fears

Fukushima: activists say earthquake and tsunami prove nuclear power should be banned.

As the nuclear crisis in Japan continues, the UK Government has sought to play down safety fears about planned UK nuclear plants.

The reactors at Japan's Fukushima site have suffered explosions and coolant problems since the devastating earthquake and subsequent tsunami hit the region last week, and UK activists have called for an urgent moratorium on the UK's use of atomic power stations in the wake of the disaster.

Activist Sally Dumbcow, of pressure group Use Any Disaster To Push Our Agenda (UADTPO) said, "it is clear that events in Japan show that nuclear power is a deadly evil. If the Fukushima reactors could not withstand the sixth-largest earthquake in recorded history plus the impact of several billion tons of saltwater travelling at close to the speed of sound, then what chance does it have in the unstable environment of the UK? Nuclear power will clearly devastate the planet and cause genetic mutations unto the third generation. And stuff. Won't somebody PLEASE think of the children?"

However, Energy Minister Chris Huhne sought to play down the fears of UADTPO and other pressure groups, insisting that UK nuclear plants will be fully safe.

Mr Huhne said, "I want to reassure the public that the UK's reactors will be completely safe. They will be built to the highest-possible standards, and the lowest possible tender, using Britain's finest engineering firms, like the ones who built the Millenium Bridge in London to exacting rigidity levels.

"Our plans ensure that sites will be able to withstand all the extremes that Britain can throw at them, including heavy frosts, persistent drizzle and temperatures of up to 80 degrees centigrade at least one day per year. As for seismic events - our structural engineers assure the Department of Energy that the corrugated iron planned for the reactor vessels will comfortably withstand earthquakes up to a magnitude of 0.7, and tsunami up to a wave height of almost six inches. This is British Engineering at its finest, how much safer do you want?"

Your correspondent contacted award-winning Professor Brian Cox - who knows everything - for comment, and in a statement he confirmed that those arguing against nuclear power in the UK should perhaps read his book explaining plate tectonics.

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

British nuclear scientists will be sent to Japan on a study of their nuclear facilities to find out which substance the Japanese use most often as walls.

It is not corrugated iron, but paper walls that we can look forward to.

Rather good for stopping all those weak beta rays - just turn off the geiger counter outside if it gets annoying.

Gordon Brown is 93, and was rumoured to have visited Fukoshima in a past life. Etc...