THE DIARY OF A GEEK IN OXFORDSHIRE


Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Sharp Increase in GDP Reported

PM Gordon Brown with leaking trousers, met by tissue-wielding Protocol Officer.

The UK Government has today reported a sharp increase in GDP following the Prime Minister's meeting with US President Barack Obama yesterday.

In an impromptu press conference held in the cubicles of a Westminster public convenience, Business Secretary Lord Mandelson said, "I'm delighted to announce that GDP for the first quarter of 2009 has risen an amazing 34% compared to Q1 2008". Pausing to fellate a fellow cottager, he then added, "I'm sure you'll agree that this is sterling work by the Prime Minister and should be recognised as such".

Downing Street sources said that the vast majority of the increase in Gordon's Dung Production came yesterday morning, when the Prime Mentalist suffered a loss of continence while en route to the White House.

Acting quickly, the Prime Miniser used his socks to prevent leakage, and White House Protocol Officer Gladys Buloda was thankfully on-hand to offer toilet paper (seen in the White House Publicity image above) and to whisk the PM off to empty his trousers and shower before meeting the President.

As can be seen from the second image below, the Prime Minister was clearly still suffering sphincter-control issues on meeting President Obama, and White House sources have said the resulting carpet stains will cost in excess of $50,000 to remove.

The PM crosses his legs to prevent leaks - but it's too late, the carpet's wrecked.

This is not the first instance a British PM has suffered in pursuit of international relations. In 2008 Gordon Brown suffered a spontaneous emission upon attempting to kiss German Chancellor Angela Merkel, and in 2003 the Foreign Office were stuck with a large cleaning bill after Tony Blair failed to swallow sufficiently quickly for George W Bush.

1 comment:

it's either banned or compulsory said...

Gordon got confued and tried to kiss Obama who responded with

" Get this limey faggot outta here ".