THE DIARY OF A GEEK IN OXFORDSHIRE


Solving the World's problems with common sense and a flamethrower.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

The Government Cometh


Updating the Flanders & Swann classic for a modern age.

Twas on the Monday morning that the Council came to call.
And said they had to talk about my new back garden wall,
I hadn't been assessed by their own Health & Safety man,
So they told me to rebuild it and they then fined me a grand!

Oh it's all New Labour who are doing this to you!

And it's on the Tuesday morning that the DVLA write,
Said they'd caught me doing 30 in a '20 zone' last night,
Sent me photos from their cameras and I felt such a berk,
And to pay my fine, I sold the car and took the bus to work.

Oh it's all New Labour who are doing this to you!

Twas on the Wednesday morning that my employer called,
And he told me the Recession had sent him to the wall,
He said that he was sorry, but he'd have to let me go,
So I couldn't pay the mortgage, as I hadn't got the dough.

Oh it's all New Labour who are doing this to you!

Twas on the Thursday morning that the bank was on the phone,
Said they're gonna have to repossess and take away my home,
They said they were restructuring to save their pension pot,
No cash, no car, no job, no home - I'd lost the fucking lot.

Oh it's all New Labour who are doing this to you!

Twas on the Friday morning that the bailiffs kicked the door,
Took everything I owned and left me sitting on the floor,
The Government had left me without anything at all
And all I had to sit on were the bricks from my back wall!

On Saturday and Sunday
I rebuilt my garden wall...

And...twas on the Monday morning that the Council came to call!

3 comments:

Nick Drew said...

good stuff, Mr D !

most of my back-catalogue is scattered all over Guido Fawkes' comments pages (Nick Drew on his googlesearch facility)

this was the first one (3rd one in from the top):

it's either banned or compulsory said...

"No cash, no car, no job, no home - I'd lost the fucking lot."

Excellent, mind if I borrow it ?

Dungeekin said...

Banned or Compulsory:

Be my guest, thanks for asking.

D