THE DIARY OF A GEEK IN OXFORDSHIRE


"Solving the World's problems with satire and a smile.*"

*And a flamethrower.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Heston Reopens Fat Duck Restaurant

The Willy Wonka of fine dining ponders his next esoteric marvel.

Michelin-starred celebrity chef Heston Blumenthal has reopened his exclusive Fat Duck restaurant, with a new menu he claims is even more ground-breaking than before.

The chef, who has previously wowed diners with delights including egg-and-bacon ice cream and snail porridge, has now introduced bacteria, microbes and fungal spores to his range of exotic ingredients. New additions to the menu include:

White Chocolate, Elephant Sperm and Norovirus Layer Cake;

Foie Gras and Botulinum Parfait, with an Athlete's Foot Jus;

Candied Candiru and Herpes Bake, served on a bed of wilted Belladonna.

In a press conference surrounded by his team of Oompa-Loompa chefs, the 'Willy Wonka of fine dining' said, "I'm sure that guests will welcome the new dishes. I'm especially pleased with the Anthrax, Banana and Echidna Broth, which is served with an E-Coli zabaglione. It's a taste sensation, both going down and coming back up!".

For the opening night, Blumenthal is also offering a Limited Edition Parliament Special of Gordon Brown's bogies, served on rice-paper Environmental Health legislation and garnished with Roy Hattersley's dribble.

When approached for comment on this ground-breaking new menu, fellow Michelin-starred chef Gordon Ramsay said - well, you can imagine what he said.


1 comment:

it's either banned or compulsory said...

If I wanted another dose of botulism I'd join Jaqui " I can have you killed " SSmith down at Ali Babas Kebab Emporium ( no photos, police present ). Even better, visit Mid Staffs NHS where they dish out C. Dif and MRSA for free !