THE DIARY OF A GEEK IN OXFORDSHIRE


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Monday, March 30, 2009

Brown Defends Home Secretary in 'Porngate'

You just wouldn't would you?

Gordon Brown has spoken in support of Home Secretary Jacqui Beria and her husband Richard Timid, after it became public that she had claimed expenses for two pornographic movies watched by him while she was away.

Speaking at a news conference with the Australian Prime Minister, the PM defended the Home Secretary and said she was 'doing a great job' of ensuring her husband remained under control.

It was being stressed yesterday that she did not actually see the films, which were watched by her husband, Richard Timney, at their family home in Redditch, while she was away. The movies, believed to have been 'Lusty Labour Lesbians' (featuring a cameo appearance from Clare Short) and Ben 'Dover' Bradshaws 'Bi Human Nights Bill', which features a steamy, no-holds barred session between Angela Eagle, Gordon Marsden and Stephen Twigg in a Commons Committee room.

Timid, who is employed as the Home Secretary's secretary, apologised for the embarrassment he had caused, but added, "seriously, on the rare occasion Jacqui's home would you want to shag that? Five knuckles and a kleenex is much more edifying than seeing her 'O'-face, I can tell you"

9 comments:

Ray said...

Jacqui Smith 'doing a great job' at work, hubby giving himself a 'great hand job' at home

subrosa said...

Much would depend on what you are like and how desperate you were. Am I right or am I right?

Dungeekin said...

@subrosa:

I would never be that drunk, that desperate or that unaware of her rampant misandry.

D

Rightwinggit said...

Didn't she try and blame her son for it?

What paper was it in?

Obnoxio The Clown said...

Jacqui Smith's cum face: the best possible reason for anal sex.

killemallletgodsortemout said...

...quite, Obo. But not with Jacqui Smith.

Cato said...

Rightwinggit said...

Didn't she try and blame her son for it?

What paper was it in?
11:47 AM



Kleenex as I recall.

BulloPill said...

" 'Lusty Labour Lesbians' (featuring a cameo appearance from Clare Short) and Ben 'Dover' Bradshaws 'Bi Human Nights Bill', which features a steamy, no-holds barred session between Angela Eagle, Gordon Marsden and Stephen Twigg in a Commons Committee room."

If I have nightmares, I'll blame you!

Bishop Brennan said...

Fortunately, neither Ben Bradshaw nor Angela Eagle are interested in members of the opposite sex.

Fortunately, as that means that neither will ever reproduce...

As for the story, the last paragraph is clearly true (although some of my work colleagues accused me of sexism for saying it!). How did you get the quote?