Brown reportedly took the decision to become a Dic
One senior Downing Street Civil Servant said, "When the Cabinet refused to kotow properly the PM started to get angry. He told them he'd run the country single-handed, and when Alistair said he'd heard that was Brown's normal method in life the PM completely lost it, screaming "you've all got it in for me" at the Cabinet before throwing them all out. He then barricaded himself into the LeaderBunker shouting that only he had the vision and power to save the country and the world, and all the people who couldn't see that were mad, and if they thought he was mad he'd show them mad, at which point he started cackling wildly and became largely unintelligible.
"Since then we have had a number of edicts emailed to us from the Bunker. For example, we have now been advised to ask you to refer to this as Browning Street, and we understand that the Treasury has been instructed to adopt the Brownd as the new UK currency. It is clear that the PM - sorry, I mean the Supreme Leader of Great Brownian - has adopted a siege mentality. He's pretty well ensconced in that bunker and our main concern is that he appears to have a supply of Ed Balls sufficient to last until at least May."
None of the Cabinet Ministers who were tenuously linked to the HooCoup were available for comment, as they were all collectively searching for either a spine or a pair of testicles.
*Though Ed Balls was, as always swift to kiss Brown's ring.
**Nobody ever said Gollum Jong Brown was original.